An assortment of miscellany

Saving the world, one wrinkled dress shirt at a time (x).

(via weaponizedwit)

rainbowrowell:

brofisting:

npr:

The latest Iron Man installment continues an argument begun in last summer’s The Avengers about two very different kinds of American exceptionalism. Robert Downey Jr.’s Tony Stark represents a newer mythology: He gets his power from earned egotism, unchecked capitalism, and entrepreneurial genius.

Armor And Anxiety: Tony Stark Is The New Captain America : Monkey See

Photo: Marvel/Walt Disney Pictures

wow this is a super great essay about tony stark, perfectly capturing all the tony stark feelings i knew and didn’t know i had

It is very great. As are most things written by Linda Holmes at NPR. Check her out: http://www.npr.org/blogs/monkeysee/

Source:

cumberbitchsandwich:

Tony and food

(via sherleck)

22drunkb:

robertbby:

sirdef:

ironnman:

why is everyone IGNORING THIS

OH MY GOD

OHHHHH MYYYYY GODDDDD

OH!!! HOLY!!!!!!!! HELL!!!!!!!!!!!

hiddley:

#and finally the rightful stark will sit on the iron throne

(via steadymobbing)

bittersuites:

otaku-stuffed-muffin:

burdenedwithawesomeness:

nheartslogos:

myadamantiumheart:

supergreak:

loki-cat:

can we please just take a moment to close our eyes and imagine how insanely hilarious and refreshing a public debate between tony stark and romney would be

2016?

On gay marriage:

“No, you don’t understand, Mittens, of course I recognize gay marriage and complete equal benefits for my employees; I trust them with the best technology and equipment and explosives in the country.  As long as they don’t blow up my facilities, I’ll do whatever’s necessary to keep them happy and healthy.  Explosives, Mittens.”

On reproductive rights:

“Just for a second, close your eyes, and imagine that the Black Widow is your co-worker.  And also lives two floors down from you, so she knows where you sleep.  She once incapacitated me- for my own health, of course, but that’s irrelevant- she can do any job a man can do, better, without breaking a sweat, and she learned ‘enhanced interrogation’ from the KGB.  Do you want to tell her what she can or cannot do with her own body?  I thought not.  Okay, moving on.”

On jobs:

“Who remembers that stock crash when I first came out as Iron Man and said I wasn’t making weapons anymore?”  *uncomfortable snickers from audience* 

“No, go ahead, laugh.  Everyone thought I was crazy.  Pepper thought I was crazy, and I owe her a pony for putting up with me all these years.  Oh, shoot, national TV, now I have to give her one, don’t I?  Anyway, they thought I was crazy, because I was shutting down the biggest branch of SI, where most of our manufacturing and research went.  Investors didn’t have hope.  But you know what?  We took those brilliant people, got some fresh ideas, remodeled some factories, and not one employee got laid off that year.  Because if you people work hard, and work together, and you work in a fair environment where every crazy, brilliant idea has a chance to flourish, then you can take half a company and grow it to bigger than it was before.

And that’s what we need to do with jobs in this country.  These unemployment statistics?  Suck.  So let me give you some numbers about how I plan to fix that, so we can get this country working again.  Here’s the plan: and then he goes and gives statistics, and Romney makes a fish face, because Pepper Gave Him Notecards And He Actually Followed Them.  Well, for this part of the speech. 

On defense:

I am Iron Man, in case you don’t watch the news.  Also, we have a Hulk.  Just putting that out there.  Considering the events of the last few years, I think other countries will think twice about pissing off President Stark.

On green energy: Stark is pretty much still the only name in green energy, and all our new facilities are LEED Gold certified. We’re still working on upgrades to some of the oldest buildings, but they’re well on their way. You know how hard it is to get building permits in California?  So yeah, I support the efforts we make in this country to live more sustainably.  Because I love this country, and I’d like to save it for the long run.  It’s kind of what I do. Because it’s awfully hard to Avenge against pollution. 

And in case they get into a dick size contest over who loves America more…

“I’m in a monogamous relationship with freedom”

i’m crY I CAN NO LONGER HANDLE THIS WORLD

omg help me I’ve fallen down laughing and crying and can’t find the will to get up

I’m in a monogamous relationship with freedom

I AM 3486587586% DONE WITH JUST EVERY FUCKING THING. THIS HAS LIGHTENED MY ENTIRE DAY AND MOOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH OMG.

(via steadymobbing)

isivisi:

Iron manatee

(via eatingcroutons)

timecircusaquarium:

tyberiousductor:

It’s the Iron Chef

best cosplay, everone else go home

(via mooraan)

(via g-erti)

(via chuckthealmighty)

• Question: what are your batman vs. ironman theories? - no-literally
• Answer:

  I’M GLAD YOU ASKED. Unfortunately I don’t have my notes with me (my notes are a post-it I scribbled stuff down on when I was sleep-deprived at work after the Batman premiere) but I’ll make do. (I should note that all of my thoughts are based on the movies.)

  In short, my theory is that Iron Man rules and Batman drools. In medium, my theory is that Iron Man is for people who are fun and Batman is for people who take themselves too seriously. In long, I find Tony Stark/Iron Man to be a more interesting and relatable character, at least for me personally. While they’re both genius billionaire playboy philanthropists, I don’t really buy that Bruce Wayne is a genius. While Tony Stark makes all of his armor and stuff himself, Bruce Wayne gets God to build his for him. (And honestly, as an engineer, that is a large part of why I love Tony Stark.) And while Tony and Bruce both have parental issues, I find Tony’s more…realistic? Fortunately, most people’s parents don’t get murdered, but unfortunately, a lot of people have kind of crappy, distant, uninvolved parents.

  Okay, so that was going to be pretty much the extent of it, but then I had to go rescue my dad from his broken-down car and I had half an hour in the car to think about this issue some more.

  First of all, from a sort of meta standpoint, I think the way people interpret the question “Batman or Iron Man?” is interesting in its variations. It can mean, who’s a better guy, who’s a better character, who could beat up whom, who has better movies, etc. Personally, I have a hard time answering the better guy question separately from the better character question. I suppose it’s Batman, because he’s so goddamn noble all the time, but that’s why I find him generally uninteresting as a character. His parents were killed and he wants to protect Gotham. Whereas Iron Man is clearly and admittedly flawed, which makes him seem so much realer. Tony Stark’s decision to become Iron Man is a decision he has to keep making. Batman is ridiculously selfless, whereas Iron Man, like most actual human beings, is generally inclined to be selfish, which makes his decisions to do selfless things that much more meaningful.

  As to who has better movies, I just crunched some Rotten Tomatoes number and the critical consensus is Batman, by a hair. Personally, I like some levity in my superhero movies, as opposed to super-serious Chris Nolan Batman flicks. I didn’t hate any of the Batmen, but the only one I loved was The Dark Knight, and that was not because of Batman, it was because of Heath Ledger’s astonishing portrayal of the Joker. (I don’t remember which podcast I listened to this week that pointed out that Batman is always the least interesting character in his movies, but they were right.) Whereas The Avengers is a great time, one that I can happily relive, unlike the punishing Dark Knight Rises.

  And when it comes to who would win in a fight? Batman does have the upper hand when it comes to fighting without the suit, but Iron Man can fly. So that makes him more awesome. Honestly, the only way they’re truly evenly matched is in their awesome butlers.

  So those were my thoughts, of which I have a surprising number. (I like my job okay but it does not challenge me creatively.)

captaingalaga:

Patriots and billionaires duh

(via dancys)

• Bruce Wayne: Secret identities are important - it protects who you are and the ones you love.
• Tony Stark: YOLO

loki-cat:

everyflight-beginswith-afall:

weaponizedwit:

cutintostars:

I like how it’s “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” and “Thor: The Dark World” and then Iron Man is just like, fuck the bullshit, we’re just callin’ this thing “Iron Man 3”. 

Because a secondary title would imply it’s also about something other than Iron Man. And we all know how well that would work out.

#tony stark does not share

#he doesn’t play well with others

(via sherleck)